1. Nothing is your fault; you can blame it all on apartheid.

2. The company that supplies electricity pleads every night on national TV for people not to use their product.

3. You can experience pathetic service in eleven official languages.

4. It’s the only country in the world where illegally striking workers show how angry they are by dancing and when the cops shoot them, they take the cops to court.

5. You’re considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

6. The president has more wives, and children, than Alexander the Great had and has built a palace for all of them without knowing how much it cost.

7. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.

8. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

9. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire, offer sacrifices to your ancestors by slaughtering cattle and blow your vuvuzela whilst your TV blares without offending anyone.

10. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for accidents, without being called. The police you have to call about three times.

11. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

12. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you’ve just reported.

13. A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

14. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections.

15. The military have unions and will only obey orders after a vote.

16. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response companies when they are burgled.

17. Police cars are fitted with immobilizers and gear locks.

18. Condoms are free – plastic bags & sanitary products have to be purchased.

19. Crime is the largest job creator in the country, followed by government.

20. There is a national presidential help-line which nobody answers.

You’ve got to love the place !!!